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| AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER I THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. More to the point, it is a fictionalized parody of a work of fiction, which makes it even more fictitious. Double fiction, if you will. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead (or for that matter, comatose or vegetative) is purely coincidental. In the event that the characters in this parody resemble any actual persons living or dead, some intervention may be required to help those actual persons (at least the living ones), since any such resemblance would be very unfortunate indeed. In any case, because the characters in this parody are loosely based on the characters inhabiting the "Alex Cross" mysteries by James Patterson, the author is reasonably assured that they do not resemble any actual persons, whether living or dead. AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER II CRACK KILLS. In an effort to approximate the attempts by James Patterson to approximate the gritty realities of life in the mean streets of Washington, DC, some liberty has been taken with the grittiness of the reality. Contrary to the assertions of the story's protagonist, crack mixed with heroin does not actually create a flammable mixture resulting in spontaneous human combustion. Crack is, however, a very dangerous drug. So is heroin. AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER III SERIAL KILLERS KILL. In an effort to approximate the attempts by James Patterson to approximate the gritty realities of life among serial killers in and around the mean streets of Washington, DC, some liberty has been taken in portraying serial killers and their serial-killing ways. Any resemblence between the serial killers depicted here and the serial killers haunting the mean streets of Washington, DC, and other places is purely coincidental. This disclaimer applies to any serial killers living or dead, incarcerated or not yet caught, comatose or vegetative, regardless of whether they smoke crack or shoot heroin. AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER IV DO NOT SMACK CHICKS. The title of this novel ("Smack the Chicks") is a parody of the title "Kiss The Girls" and is not intended to imply any endorsement of chick-smacking. |
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